Healing = Courage + Action + Grace (PART 5/5)

Healing = Courage + Action + Grace 

KEY COMPONENTS FOR HEALING: GRACE

I honestly did not get grace before my husband died.  I think I have always been so self-sufficient in my life that I have rarely reached out for enabling power to do something, but after the accident I found myself sinking.  Grace is real; It is a true principle and it is the only way that I can explain the help that has come to me.  I can literally look back at a particular event and know that I was not capable and did not do that on my own.  I have had feelings change overnight.  I have been gifted with peace and understanding when before all I could feel was turmoil.  Maybe this was one of the reasons that Scott needed to die; I need to understand grace.  

Grace is the divine means of help or strength given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ.  It is likewise through the grace of the Lord that individuals receive strength and assistance to do good works that they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means. 

This GRACE is an ENABLING POWER

We can do and be good beyond our personal capacity if we have the courage to reach out to HIM for help.

-   -“Sometimes that grace comes directly through the Holy Ghost and we can feel His clear and specific love for us.”

-   -“Sometimes that grace comes as Christ touches another person’s heart and prompts them to share, uplift and bless another.  Grace is often made manifest through the courage and action of a person who reaches out to serve another.”

GRACE IS THE POWER BY WHICH HEALING OCCURS

His part is to be our atoning Savior, our part is to be courageous enough to act and then he

Healing = Courage + Action + Grace (PART 4/5)

Healing = Courage + Action + Grace 

KEY COMPONENTS FOR HEALING: ACTION

The scriptures teach us, “Knock and it shall be opened unto you.”  Knocking is acting.  So often we find ourselves trudging through life looking at our feet or simply sitting in the mud.  We think that we are all alone and forsaken.  We may cry out to God in anguish.  We think He isn’t there.  When in reality He has been patiently standing there waiting for us to just look up.  Looking up is acting.  It showing that we more than just believe, but that we are willing to try to move forward on our own.  When He sees us take that first step that is when He steps in and helps us keep taking more.  Acting also helps us regain control.  When we need to heal, we normally feel we have lost control.

To act instead of being acted upon. When I choose to be inactive or place myself in a state of being acted upon, I give Satan greater power in my life. 

Q: How is action related to healing? 

A: Action is the point where belief turns into faith.

When we act in FAITH,  moving along on a GOOD path, we OPEN the door to GRACE.

COURAGE TO ACT OPENS THE DOOR TO GRACE WHICH IS THE KEY TO HEALING.

Q: What are the major Roadblocks to acting in faith?

A: PROCRASTINATION and FEAR keep us in the acted upon position.

“If Satan can convince us that our fear is too great to act or that to act is a great idea, but to do it later, then he can prevent us from opening the door to GRACE.”

“The longer we remain in an inactive state the farther we drift from the Lord and His spirit.”

“The more often a person FEELS without ACTING the less he will be able ever to ACT, and in the long run the less he will be able to FEEL” – C.S. Lewis

Q: How do we overcome the tendency to procrastinate or shut down in fear? 

A: Prayer is the simplest form of action.  When you pray, you act in faith and open the door to blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional upon our asking.

In your prayers be sure to speak openly, sincerely and directly to Him.  Vague and passive

Be a Light

Let Your Light So Shine...

How can I be so different from 15 months ago?  How can one single event, encompassing only a few minutes so completely and utterly changed me? 

Today I had a conversation with my two relators that I had not planned on having that took up over a hour.  They were coming to take pictures before I listed my home. The girl I was before would have been cordial but abrupt and rushed wanting to get onto the next task. I would have been frazzled by trying to get the house in perfect condition, and I would have be irritated that my day was being delayed by having 'to deal' with a person that I was quite frankly indifferent towards.  My life was full of to do lists and tasks to be done.  I measured my self worth by what I got accomplished in a day.  I relished comments such as, "I don't know how you do it all.  How do you get so much done?"  To which I always replied that multitasking and goal setting was the key.


In that moment when my world came crashing down, all of the multitasking and to do lists and temporal accomplishment seems very insignificant and empty.  The only thing that mattered was my relationship with my husband.  How I wished that I could regain minutes pouring over recipes when we were traveling together or evenings prepping fancy breakfasts while he sat upstairs watching reruns of Fraiser.  Now, don't get me wrong.  Scott and I spent a lot of time reconnecting everyday.  I met him for lunch, we texted and we always tried to go on an evening walk or sat in the tub together (depending on how his knees felt at the end of the day.)  In fact, I sacrificed a lot of relationships with other friends to be with my husband, and I don't regret a moment of that.  But  his loss made me want to gather up every wasted or lost minute just to have a few more of them.


At his funeral, I was shocked at the shear numbers of people who came, who he had influenced, who wrote letters and stories about the difference he made in their lives.  I thought...If it had been me, then

New Resolve

New Resolve

Everyone is about New Years Resolutions, and most of the time by now everyone is petering out and feeling discouraged.  Well, it's regrouping time!  Don't waste the year waiting for another January.  So how do we regain our lost resolve?  Let me share a personal experience and our morning devotional.

For the last year I have known that I needed to go on a diet and lose the weight I put on when Scott died.  No, I'm not horribly overweight, but I know that I have lost control in this arena of my life.  When Scott died I just emotionally gave up and eating became my vice.  Every week I would say, "this week I will start my diet.  I know how to loose weight and I've done it before so this should be easy, right?" 

BIG FAT WRONG!

I would make it through a day and be good and then the next day something stressful would happen and I would go right back to the sweets.  I would go down a pound or two and then back up.  I kept telling myself that I was going to be serious. 

But I was getting no where. Why?

Because I wasn't completely committed or resolved.  After all, what's the point... Who is there to impress? 

So after my trip to Utah the beginning of January I said, "No more wishy washy!" No more estimating calories and sneeking extra handfuls of chocolate chips everytime I go to the pantry.  I've got to keep track of my calories and write them down. When I'm up for the day, I'm done eating.  I have to find someone to be accountable to, because I'm not doing this well on my own. 

So I've been pretty good.

perfect?

No. 

In fact I ate chocolate chips yesterday :( , but today I'm back at it.  The scale went back up a

Healing = Courage + Action + Grace ( PART 3/5 )

Healing = Courage + Action + Grace 

KEY COMPONENTS FOR HEALING: COURAGE

Being courageous isn’t about being daring and facing death.  It isn’t about not having fear.  It is about living well and doing the things we need to do to make a difference in spite of our fears, shortcomings and insecurities.  It means moving forward with faith even though you can barely see your way.  It means trusting in God and trying to do what he wants us to do.

“Real courage is not the absence of fear,

but the willingness to proceed in spite of it.”

-   -Sandberg

1.    Be courageous enough to face the truth regarding what needs to change in our lives.

a.     This requires immense honesty. 

b.    We have to have a real commitment to learn and accept the truth about ourselves.

c.     It takes courage to be honest with ourselves.

2.    It takes courage to be congruent.

a.     To live a life where our public and private priorities are in sink. 

b.  Where what we experience on the inside is consistent with what we show on the outside. 

c.     It takes courage to have Integrity- to make our actions consistent with our beliefs.

d.    A double minded man is unstable in all ways.

e.     Living a congruent life brings a peaceful feeling while living an incongruent life is exhausting.

f.      “How long halt ye between two opinions? If the Lord be God, follow him”- 1 Kings 18:21

3.    We have to develop the courage to live counter to the world’s dominant culture.

a.     (The culture where money, sex, material possessions, fame, violent behavior and carnal exploits are the currency for success)

b.    “The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves.  We are teaching the wrong things.  You have to be strong enough to say, “If the culture doesn’t work then don’t buy it.  Create your own.” – Tuesdays with Morrie

c.     That’s How the Light Gets In- Tyler Jarvis http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=2128

d.    The Worth of Souls is Great – Kristine Matthews http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=2131

e.     If enough of us say no to the dominant culture, it will loose its power.

For me, courage is that inner strength that I exert when I want to give up but I choose not it.  It is pressing forward and doing what I know I should even if there isn't an immediate reward and even when no one sees.  It is in the little choices I make everyday... even the choice to get out of bed, not to feel sorry for myself, and to find someone to reach out to who needs a friend.  These quiet choices make all of the difference to the rate and power of healing that I experience. 

To be continued...

Part 4: Healing = Courage + Action + Grace (4/5)

Healing = Courage + Action + Grace ( PART 2/5 )

Healing = Courage + Action + Grace 

Even with all that beauty and growth and grace…

HEALING DOES HURT

How do we reconcile the fact that Healing requires suffering and yet it is a gift from the Savior? This is because He cares more about our growth and the end result of our lives than he does our immediate comfort.  Like a parent who allows a child to fall when they walk.  The Lord knows that without difficult and hurt we could not learn.  He does not spare us from that suffering that we need for necessary growth and development.

“Healing blessings come in many ways.  Sometimes the healing lifts our burden, but sometimes we are given strength or understanding or patience to bear that burden.” -Dallin H Oaks

 Remember that Healing is…

1.    a gift from our Savior…

2.    that will require effort and suffering on our part…

3.    so we can grow and develop through our struggles.

Sandberg shares the example of Nelson Mandela. Prior to prison the young Nelson Mandela was described by his peers as too emotional (he lacked self-control), passionate (he had a temper) , and quickly stung (he was easily offended.)  When he left prison 27 years later he was described as balanced, measured and controlled. Nelson Mandela had many teachers in his life but the greatest of all was prison.  Mandela said, “I came our mature.”  Mandela developed in prison the strength, understanding and patience to bear the burdens that were placed on him.  He later led 2 groups into the peaceful development of democracy.  Is that healing?  I would say, yes. His personal healing fostered a nation’s healing.

The only way that I can explain the healing that has happened in my life is to attribute it to the grace of the Savior.  My burden will never be removed in this life.  Even if I remarry, I will still always miss and feel the loss of my sweetheart.  Knowing that we can be together again sustains me, but it does not remove the loss.  Only the Savior has been able to take the sting away.  He has given me hope for the future.  He has gifted me with strength to continue on and  the knowledge of how to proceed.  He has gifted me with patience to wait on Him for His promises to be fulfilled.  He has blessed me with great understanding of the plan of my life and the work He wants me to do.  I know that He has a very specific plan for me, and that if I have courage and act on those directions that He will bless me with the Grace to do it.  

To be continued...

Part 3: Healing = Courage + Action + Grace (3/5)

MercyMe - The Hurt & The Healer

Here is a song and the lyrics (below) that describe this process well.

"The Hurt & The Healer"

Why?
The question that is never far away
The healing doesn't come from being explained

Healing = Courage + Action + Grace (PART 1/5)

Healing = Courage + Action + Grace

  

Betrayal, Loss of Loved Ones, Abandonment, Mocking, and Physical Pain are part of this mortal experience, yet there is a way for Healing to occurring in each of our lives.  This information comes from a speech given by Jonathan Sandberg who is a marriage and family counselor.  I wanted to highlight some of his points along with my personal experience because so many people out there are suffering and do not know how to go about healing.  I have practiced the principles that he talks about this last year and I have found immense healing and new understanding and growth in the journey.  I will break this down into several parts. Here is the full speech, which is well worth listening to over and over again.  He shares stories from Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandella, Rosa Parks, Mother Theresa and many others.

Johnathan Sandberg 2014- Healing= Courage+Action +GRACE 

Part 1:

3 PRINCIPLES THAT LEAD TO HEALING:

(Knowing that all healing is a gift from Jesus Christ)

1. Courage

2. Action

3. Grace

“I got to the point that I couldn’t take it any longer.  I sat at the kitchen table with my head in my hands and I prayed. ‘Lord, I’m down here trying to do what is right. I think I’m right, I’m taking a stand for what I believe is right, but Lord, I must confess that I’m weak now. I’m faltering.  I’m loosing my courage.  Now I’m afraid. I have nothing left.  I’ve come to the point where I can’t face it alone.’ I could here the quiet assurance of an inner voice saying, ‘Martin Luther, Stand up for righteousness. Stand up for justice.  Stand up for truth, and Lo, I will be with you even unto the end of the world.’  I tell you I heard the voice of Jesus saying, ‘Still fight on.’  He promised never to leave me alone, and at that moment I experienced the presence of the Divine as I have never experienced Him before.  Almost at once my fears began to go and uncertainty disappeared.  I was ready to face anything.” – Martin Luther King

SEE THE PRINCIPLES IN ACTION:

Courage- to face a difficult situation and stand for truth

Action- in faith by turning to God in prayer

Grace- peace and strength from the Lord through his grace

On Healing:

“’On that first day as a nurse, I assumed cure, care, and healing to be synonymous. I have learned they are not the same. Healing is not cure. Cure is clean, quick, and done—often under anesthesia… Healing, however, is often a lifelong process of recovery and growth in spite of, maybe because of, enduring physical, emotional, or spiritual assault. It requires time... Healing is active. It requires all the energy of your entire being. You have to be there, fully awake, aware, and participating when it happens.’

Healing is much more than getting better or having your problems go away.  Healing is growth, development, maturing.  In a word, Healing is CHANGE.  It takes times and energy and struggle, but healing teaches us.

 As Marshal said, ‘ Healing can help us to become more sensitive and more awake to life. Healing inspires repentance and obedience. Healing invites gifts of humility and faith. It opens our hearts to truth, beauty, divinity, and grace.’”

- Elaine Marshall 2002 Learning the Healers Art

The past 15 months as our family has undergone the healing process, I have often wanted a cure.  I have called out, “Certainly there is an accellerated or AP version of healing! Can’t this go a little faster.”  God fortunately knows that growth and understanding happen overtime.  Often a place has to be carved in our hearts to accept His truth, His answers and His love.  Even so, in this process of heart carving, He never leaves us alone.  We may not know he is there because we are too busy looking down at our feet or simply sitting in the mud, but I know from experience that He is there patiently waiting for us to just look up and reach out to Him.  As you read this blog over the next couple of days, spend some time pondering how you can better heal and how you can better aid others in healing, because the big secret that I have learned is that by focusing on helping to heal others, the Grace of the Lord heals you.

To be continued...

Part 2: Healing = Courage + Action + Grace (2/5)