Showing posts with label Tender mercy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tender mercy. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

A Glimpse of Heaven: on Death, Faith and Miracles






I just got back from traveling long distance to my grandmother's funeral.  When you have lost a spouse, funerals are not a easy.  They bring back so many emotions and memories, yet I felt compelled to go to comfort my grandpa and my mother.  I was expecting it to be hard, but it was a sweet and tender experience to be there. One that taught me that miracles still occur....

My grandmother had suffered several strokes and was on hospice.  We received word on Sunday that she was no longer able to swallow and take fluids.  Knowing that a healthy adult can only survive a few days without water, the funeral was planned for Friday and flights were arranged for Thursday.  Family was praying for her to go peacefully and quickly.  She did not seem in pain as she quietly breathed in a unresponsive state.  As the week progressed, my grandmother continued to hang on.  Her body began to show signs of eminent shut down, yet morning after morning I awoke to news that she had lasted still another night.

My mother called me often during the week struggling with the situation. I could tell that she wished to be there when her mother passed, but living so far away she did not think it was possible for that to happen.  She began to worry that the funeral may have to be delayed, and that our trip would be for naught. Thursday arrived and we continued with our travel plans, learning on the way to the airport that my grandmother had miraculously made it through yet another night.  That day was my grandparents 64th wedding anniversary.  As I thought while I drove, a very distinct thought formulated in my mind...
"Grandma is waiting for my mother to be there."
I voiced my thought on a family text and another sister confirmed that she had felt the same. My mother was making the 1300 mile trip by car.  I called her and told her that I believed that her mother was waiting for her.  My mother broke down in tears and confessed that in her heart she had wanted to be there, but she didn't even dare pray that such a thing was possible.

Our whole family changed our prayer.  We prayed that grandma would have the strength to make it until that time.  Then we acted in faith to get there as quickly as possible.  Hour by hour she miraculously was sustained by something other than natural laws.  Her frail less than 90 lb body could have never survived on its own for such a time period without fluid.

Some how in her comatose state, 
she was aware of her daughter's secret prayer.  

The daughter who lived so far away and who wished so desperately to be there. Some how in that state she was aware of her anniversary date and wanted to be there with grandpa through that day.

My mother said they were able to drive with very little stops, and they arrived and hour and a half earlier than expected, ahead of those of us who were flying.  My mother hurried to her mother's side and gently cupping her mother's cheek whispered with tears in her eyes...

"Mother, I'm here.  It's Janette.  I know what you've done, I know the sacrifice you have made to stay here.  I love you and I'm so thankful for that.  You can go now."

Within a few minutes of my mother's arrival my grandmother's peaceful breathing changed.  A pained expression came on her face.  It was as if her spirit had been allowed to leave that sick body during that peaceful time and now had to reenter, feeling the pain again.  In less than 5 minutes my grandmother quietly slipped away.

My father standing at the foot of the bed remarked,

"She was waiting for you."

A little over an hour later, my sister's and I arrived at my grandparents home.  With my husband's plane accident, I had not be able to witness that point when the spirit leaves the body, and in my heart I had wished to be there to experience that spiritual moment.  Yet I had also felt that the presence of too many of us would have distracted my mother and the siblings gathered at her bedside.  It was not what God had planned for me that day.

As I entered the room a sweet calming feeling filled me my head to my toes.  I could feel what I have come to refer to as "presence" in that room.  It was full of love.  It was full of family.  We quietly hugged my grandpa and went to my grandmother's bedside.  I touched her cheek and kissed her forehead which was still slightly warm.  She was so thin, but looked like an angel.

The tears began to flow. 

Not tears of sadness, but tears of gratitude...
for the wonderful person she was, and  
for the example of faith that she had set in her life.

As I quietly gazed at her still frame, I was filled with overwhelming love for my grandma and a deep understanding of the person she truly was inside.  A being not touched by mortal frailties.  I found a rocking chair and just sat, soaking in the love in the room.  I did not want leave for it so reminded me of heaven.  It was as if the door was still swinging from her departure and glimpse of light were still streaming into the room.

We gathered around her bedside and said a family prayer, and then it was time to leave.  As I left the bedroom, I left that feeling behind.  To me it was so stark when I crossed that threshold.

Sometimes there are things that we cannot explain.  They defy what we think of as normal.  We read the bible and believe that miracles occurred in those days, yet cannot fathom that they could still occur.  On my grandparent's 64th wedding anniversary when my grandmother departed this earth after 5 day of no fluid and only 10 minutes after her daughter's arrival, I can attest that a miracle occurred.

God is mindful of us.  He hears those secret prayers and longings of our hearts and is willing to compassionately grant them if we have been obedient to Him.  He loves those who are willing to serve him.  My grandmother was one of those people and so is my mother.  I am forever grateful for both of their examples to me.  They have taught me faith and obedience, and those lessons have carried me through the last 21 months.

Thank you grandma,  I love you!

Monday, October 28, 2013

Oh, the Places You Will Go

Oh, the Places You Will Go



Last winter, about 3 months out, I was having a really hard time coping with all of the changes in my life.  When I felt the Spirit I seemed to be able to function, but new added stresses would quickly send me spiraling downward.  For the first time in my life I didn't have a plan.  Everything up to Scott's death had always been according to my plan.  I was always able to work hard enough to make things happen the way I wanted them to.  All of my plans for the future had crumbled and I knew no matter how hard I tried that I could not resurrect them because they all centered around Scott.  Everything had centered around him, for the last 20 years, and I was not sure how to re-plan without my partner.

My oldest son, Alex, sensing  my troubled heart was inspired to send me the lines to a famous story book by Doctor Seuss entitled, Oh the Places You Will Go. The words to this children's book gave me hope.  Sometimes hope is what you need to find to help your faith grow and to give you strength to start to act.

You see, I was in a slump and "un-slumping yourself is not easily done." When that happens we sometimes find ourselves stuck in "the waiting place."  Don't misunderstand me. Waiting on the Lord is good, because waiting on the Lord is still active.  We still study, we serve, we pray.  When we get into trouble is when we quit using our agency to act.  We have to remember that,

"NO, that is not for you!"  

We are God's children with a great divine potential.  He does not want us to squander that potential in inactive waiting.  The story says that somehow we will escape that waiting place.  We do that by turning to the Lord and asking the questions,

"What should I learn from this?"
 "What am I to do now?"
 "Whom should I serve?" 

The story talks about the times when we are alone, but reassures us that we will go on.  It encourages us by asking and replying,

Saturday, October 26, 2013

When Burdens Seem too Difficult to Bear

When Burdens Seem too Difficult to Bear


It seems when we are in the midst of a trial that often other trials and difficulties seem to compound our already troubled and worried souls.  I have learned that God needs to take us to the point where we can no longer handle the trial on our own.  Sometimes we have to go to the deepest depths to do the kind of pleading and searching that will lead us to the answers we need.  It is only in that dark place that we can find the light. We have to know where our limitations are so that when we are given the added strength to bear them that we will recognize that help as the TENDER MERCY that it is.  Instant answers and solutions would make us weak.  Personal Growth comes through the struggle to learn how to be lead. 

Back in the first few months of Scott's death, when I was going through that initial grief compounded with legal and financial problems as well as dealing with selling my home and helping grieving children, I often found myself at that point where I could no longer bear the burden on my shoulders.  It was in that place that I received some of the sweetest and most comforting answers.  Those answers have buoyed me up and given me the perspective and understanding that I needed to move forward to today.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Do It Out of Love

Do It Out of Love



I spent the morning visiting a few older widows that I know and the women that I am assigned to see monthly for Visiting Teaching for my church.  They were great visits where we talked about the trials that we are going through and how the gospel of Jesus Christ helps us make it through them.  Every single one of those women have deep, long-lasting difficulties in their lives right now.  As we sat and cried together I felt like I understood a little bit about heaven and what it will be like to be there together  after all of this is said and done.  I imagine we will hug each other and say, "We made it and you helped me get here!" This was a TENDER MERCY for me today.

There is great joy in being able to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort.  Doing the Saviors work is joyful!  Despite the immense pain of this journey, the empathy and understanding for others that it has given me is the cause of so much joy.  I have had people say to me, "I do not see how God could need Scott more there when you were all doing so much good here."  It's true that Scott as a physician helped a lot of people. As a person he set a great example and did a lot of good here. The rest of us were also doing good, but now we are doing so, so much more.  I have to think the same is true for Scott.  It's not about God needing Scott.  It is about us, and I include Scott in that group, needing this experience for the growth that will help us become like our Savior.  Good on this earth is nothing compared to the good that can happen inside of us.  Mortal good is nothing compared to eternal good.

If you are feeling low today then reach out and try to help lift someone else.  Be a voice for good, try to be more empathetic, just get outside yourself and think more about someone else.  It may be your daughter or son, it may be a spouse or a parent or a sibling, or it may be a neighbor, acquaintance or just a complete stranger.  If we will listen to the voice that exists in all of us, we will know who we can help, who we have the power to touch.  Then be real and genuine with them.  As we sat in those homes, no one was checking their watches, we were simply, deeply concerned for one another. Do it out of LOVE.