Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Life is like Coming out from Anesthesia.





April 24, 2013 (5 months out)

I have been doing a lot of thinking about agency or our ability to choose...


Life is about learning to choose to submit our will to the will of God. After all, that is what Christ ultimately had to do. I have been struggling with that concept a bit. 


Knowing how to make my will the same as God's will has been the issue. 


I have a tendency to pray for things that I want. 

In truth even though I say, 'Thy will be done,'  I still want it in my timetable. I know I have to change what I want.  It can't just be something I say, although that is the first step. But it has to be something that I want and feel as well. So the hard thing for me has been changing that desire....


 Accepting the Lord's timetable and plan and not trying to impose mine upon him.

I know before I came to earth I agreed to this plan.  As soon as my mother-in-law called to tell me the plane had not landed, I felt a feeling of peace come over me and these are some of the words that entered my mind... 


"This was supposed to happen,
 We choose this,
 You have to be strong,
 This will heal many hearts..."

So I know this was part of God's plan.  

Now all I'm trying to do is remember my prior will. It was my choice to come down here and face these trials. At one point my will was the same as the God's. I just have to remember that.
I had surgery a week ago. I came home and was still recovering from anesthesia when my visiting teachers (two lady's from church assigned to visit me) called. I wasn't having any pain because of the local anesthetic. I thought that the drugs they had used to sedate me had worn off.  I thought I was in complete control of my metal faculties.  
I did not realize how impaired I was at the time. 
I cheerfully agreed to a visit the next morning, stating that I didn't have any pain and everything was fine. When I made the appointment, I didn't even think about my mother being there. I didn't think about my sister's birthday the next day, and that we were going to Joplin. I didn't think about the four little toddlers they would be bringing with them. 
In truth I was in a fog and,  I wasn't thinking very clearly. 
I completely forgot about the conversation. Later that night I was in a lot of pain. The next day I prepared to leave with my mother. My visiting teachers arrived at the gate of our house just as I was leaving.  They asked me if I remembered about the appointment. Up until that time, I had no recollection of the conversation. Once she reminded me, I could vaguely remember talking to them. 
It was then that I realize how impaired I had been!  
There were many circumstances I had not thought about.  I realized that with a clear mind I would've made a different choice. 

Life is like coming out from anesthesia. 
  • We think our judgment is not impaired. 
  • We do not realize the fog we are in. 
  • We do not realize our inability to reason and see future circumstances. 
  • In truth we don't have a clear picture of the whole plan. 

Our choices and desires are based upon what we can see in the fog. If only we could lift the fog, then our wills would be perfectly aligned with God's will. But in our impaired state 
we cannot see things as they really are.
This is where faith comes in. 
We have to understand that our judgment is impaired. We have to trust that God can see the whole picture. We have to trust that if we could see the whole picture we would choose differently. Then we have to say, 
"What ever thy will is, I will except it." 
This is what I want... 
I want what You want. 
So instead of praying that the house will sell quickly and for the most money possible, I pray that it will sell in the Lord's timetable and for the amount that He feels is best for us.  Instead of questioning, 
"Why did my husband have to die in a plane crash?" 
I accept that and ask,
"What do I need to learn from this experience  to grow and learn so that I will be prepared to return to him someday. Help me to be humble enough to learn those lessons."
We pray, 
"Father give me faith and help my faith to stretch beyond what I'm capable of right now. Help me to bear those burdens that must be placed on my shoulders...that I might be able to witness to others of thy ability to aid in need of trials. That I will no longer just believe that, but I will know that thy hand strengthens us and helps us to become what we need to become in order to return back to thee."
We have to completely accept His will.   We can't hold back in our mind, 
"But I would really like it to be this way..."  
Instead we need to have complete faith that His way is the way we really want it. It was the way we initially planned. 

Stick to the plan... 
               I always stick to the plan.
           So why change now?

So I trust that our home will sell in the time that it is supposed to sell.  If I become completely penniless in this whole situation, that was part of the plan, and in the end it will all be for my betterment. 
Turning our will over to the Lord is about accepting the Lord's will
 and letting go of our need for immediate gratification and success. 

Now that doesn't mean sitting around doing nothing. It means I need to pray all the harder to know what my role is, and what I need to do to make the Lord's plan happen. Because the Lord's plan doesn't just happen as we sit back and watch it go.   His plan requires our involvement.  



So life is about our will and 
the Lord's will becoming One.

 It's about becoming one with His spirit.  Just like the Savior was one with the Father so we must also be one.  


One in purpose, one in mind, one in spirit.

Figuring this out is this simple part...


Making it happen is the work.


Here is some additional readings that inspired this post...



Why is it that the Son of God and His holy prophets and all the faithful Saints have trials and tribulations, even when they are trying to do Heavenly Father’s will? Why is it so hard, especially for them?
As we ask these questions, we realize that the purpose of our life on earth is to grow, develop, and be strengthened through our own experiences. 
How do we do this? The scriptures give us an answer in one simple phrase: we “wait upon the Lord.” Tests and trials are given to all of us. These mortal challenges allow us and our Heavenly Father to see whether we will exercise our agency to follow His Son. He already knows, and we have the opportunity to learn, that no matter how difficult our circumstances, “all these things shall [be for our] experience, and … [our] good.”
Does this mean we will always understand our challenges? Won’t all of us, sometime, have reason to ask, “O God, where art thou?” Yes! When a spouse dies, a companion will wonder. When financial hardship befalls a family, a father will ask. When children wander from the path, a mother and father will cry out in sorrow. Yes, “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Then, in the dawn of our increased faith and understanding, we arise and choose to wait upon the Lord, saying, “Thy will be done.”
What, then, does it mean to wait upon the Lord? In the scriptures, the word wait means to hope, to anticipate, and to trust. To hope and trust in the Lord requires faith, patience, humility, meekness, long-suffering, keeping the commandments, and enduring to the end.
To wait upon the Lord means planting the seed of faith and nourishing it “with great diligence, and … patience.”
It means praying as the Savior did—to God, our Heavenly Father—saying: “Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done.” It is a prayer we offer with our whole souls in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Waiting upon the Lord means pondering in our hearts and “receiv[ing] the Holy Ghost” so that we can know “all things what [we] should do.”
As we follow the promptings of the Spirit, we discover that “tribulation worketh patience” and we learn to “continue in patience until [we] are perfected.”
Waiting upon the Lord means to “stand fast” and “press forward” in faith, “having a perfect brightness of hope.”
It means “relying alone upon the merits of Christ” and “with [His] grace assisting [us, saying]: Thy will be done, O Lord, and not ours.”
As we wait upon the Lord, we are “immovable in keeping the commandments,” knowing that we will “one day rest from all [our] afflictions.”
And we “cast not away … [our] confidence” that “all things wherewith [we] have been afflicted shall work together for [our] good.”
Even with the shining examples of Job, the prophets, and the Savior, we will still find it challenging to wait upon the Lord, especially when we cannot fully understand His plan and purposes for us. That understanding is most often given “line upon line, [and] precept upon precept.”
In my life I have learned that sometimes I do not receive an answer to a prayer because the Lord knows I am not ready. When He does answer, it is often “here a little and there a little” because that is all that I can bear or all I am willing to do.
Too often we pray to have patience, but we want it right now! 
We may not know when or how the Lord’s answers will be given, but in His time and His way, I testify, His answers will come. For some answers we may have to wait until the hereafter. This may be true for some promises in our patriarchal blessings and for some blessings for family members. Let us not give up on the Lord. His blessings are eternal, not temporary.
On this Sabbath morning, I express gratitude that “in my Gethsemane” and yours, we are not alone. He that watches over us “shall neither slumber nor sleep.” His angels here and beyond the veil are “round about [us], to bear [us] up.” I bear my special witness that our Savior’s promise is true, for He says, “They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” May we wait upon Him by pressing forward in faith, that we may say in our prayers, “Thy will be done,” and return to Him with honor. 
  -ROBERT D. HALES    Waiting upon the Lord: Thy Will Be Done

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Faith April 18, 2013

April 18, 2013 (5 months)

I have been looking up faith in the scriptures and here are some of my thoughts...

There is a connection between faith and deliverance from trials. The Lord will deliver us if we have faith and patiently submit to His will. Life is about learning to subject our will to His and to put total trust in Him, following Him by keeping our covenants and the commandments. As we do this, blessing will come our way, and we will see that His plan is better than our own and that His hand was present, delivering us from our trials in His due time while giving us the power and strength to ensure them.

"But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance"-1 Nephi 1:20

"I prayed unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, according to my faith which is in thee, wilt thou deliver me " 1 Nephi 7:17

"... they were brought into bondage, and none could deliver them but the Lord their God...And it came to pass that he did deliver them, and he did show forth his mighty power unto them, and great were their rejoicings."- Mosiah 23: 23-24

"...that they should not be frightened, but that they should remember the Lord their God and he would deliver them. Therefore they hushed their fears, and began to cry unto the Lord" - Mosiah 23:27-28

"so great were their afflictions that they began to cry mightily to God... And it came to pass that the voice of the Lord came to them in their afflictions, saying: Lift up your heads and be of good comfort, for I know of the covenant which ye have made unto me; and I will covenant with my people and deliver them out of bondage.14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions."-Mosiah 24:10,13-14

Finally, when you get discouraged, and you will, remember the words of Nephi...


" Yea, and how is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him? Wherefore, let us be faithful to him." 1 Nephi 7:12

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

A great legacy april 8, 2013

April 9, 2013

I really enjoyed conference this past weekend. I listened to the first session again Yesterday while I was doing yardwork. I was struck by how many good people have been raised by widowed mothers. Sister Dalton, Elder Oaks... Then there are people from history like Mary Fielding Smith. They were all righteous , Faithful, and left great legacies of faith. Their children survived the experience. In fact they learned great faith as a result of it. I feel I'm part of a great sisterhood of widowed mothers. Mothers who were able to leave a legacy of faith because of how they endured this trial well.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Gratitude journal - march 21, 2013


My 1:00- 3:00 Epiphany...



March 21, 2013

My 1:00- 3:00 am epiphany...

I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep so I felt impressed to start a...

gratitude journal. 

I have been praying lately that 'I would see the hand of The Lord in my life each day' and this idea  answered that prayers. 

I'm finding ways to be grateful for things that I previously felt were curses. For example, last night I wrote,

"I'm grateful that I had an MRI of my knee and went to physical therapy the month before Scott died when we still had insurance because now I know the exercises to do to help it." 
(Previously I was upset that God wasn't letting me run pain free when I felt like I at least deserved that after all of this tragedy). 


My house selling has been a huge stress in my life, and I have struggled being patient with the time it is taking to sell it. Today I wrote... 
"I'm grateful my house hasn't sold yet because it has given me the time to slowly say goodbye, to sell things, organize and purge things, and to be able to focus on my kids instead of moving."

Gratitude is a way of looking at things.

As my dear husband used to say... 

"It's impossible to be grateful and depressed at the same time." 


  
One of my favorite speaker talked about Gratitude.  He said...
"We can choose to be grateful, no matter what.
This type of gratitude transcends whatever is happening around us. It surpasses disappointment, discouragement, and despair. It blooms just as beautifully in the icy landscape of winter as it does in the pleasant warmth of summer.
When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, 
we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. 
In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise. In pain, we can glory in Christ’s Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace.
We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. 
How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?

Being grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges."

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Journal march 20, 2013: Service

Journal entry: March 20, 2013 (4 months out)

I am learning that at the end of the day
the number of people I have helped is 
more important than the number of 
things I have accomplished on my to do list. 

Stop, 

take time to look around and 
find someone to lift today. 

It will lift you.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Prayer works march 4, 2013

Prayer Works

March 4, 2013 (4 months out)

Hard morning... My sister came and listened to me cry and then helped me do laundry, pack cookbooks and made us dinner. Sold our truck! Hurray! Opened the book my dear aunt sent me and wanted to share this quote... I know many of you are not of my faith, but I want to comment on this scripture from the New Testament.

 Prayer works... It really does! 

It is the only thing that consistently gets me through everyday. 

Sometimes it takes really hard times like these to dig deep enough and to need strong enough that you are willing to devote the time to earnest prayer and earnest listening. 

God is willing to help us if we only ask.

 "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not:and it shall be given him" (James 1:5)


"The message of James 1:5 is that God is approachable, generous, and willing to answer our prayers.  An additional implication is that if we don't ask of God, He won't give liberally.  Later in the epistle, James writes, 
'Ye have not, because ye ask not" (James 4:2). "  
"In the same spirit, Elder Jeffrey R Holland taught, " God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has.  But He can't if you don't pray, and He can't if you don't dream.  In short, He can't if you don't believe" (Broken Things to Mend {Salt Lake CIty: Deseret Book, 2008].85)"                                                        - John Bytheway

March 6, 2013 


Something that comforted me tonight.... I was searching for scriptures on prayer. I have 172 to read. This one stood out...
2 Kings 20:5 Thus saith the Lord, the God of David thy father, I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee:

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Things that lifted my Burdens at 3 months out

Things that lifted my Burdens...

During the first 6 months I spent a lot of time studying, praying, and meditating.  I often turned to some of the messages put out by our church in the form of talks and these short videos.  This one particularly pertained to the death of a loved one and I felt connect to it and shared it on facebook.


Jan 29, 2013 
When a big trial hits you in your life, you have a choice where to turn. You can be angry and turn away from God into the darkness or you can turn toward him and into the light. This is real; the atonement of Jesus Christ has the power to make your burdens light if you turn to Him.
Lifting Burdens



Feb 5, 2013

Hope... Something we all need. A great pick me up after feeling a bit discouraged. A big thanks to my sisters who have been taking turns coming to help me. How sweet they are, and how I love my family. I would be lost without them. 2 birthdays in the next week. Alex is 18 and Rachel 11. Where has the time gone? 
 The Power of Hope




Feb 11, 2013
Yesterday was a poor me day. I just really missed Scott. The loneliness is hard. Listen to this today and thought- it could be so much worse. What an amazing young man. Sums up what I feel exactly!
 
We're Still a Family: Plan of Salvation 

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