A life void of trials would be one void of growth: Written 2 weeks after the accident

Fear of Trials and Difficulties can be Crippling...

"A life void of trials would be one void of growth. Trials take a rough hewn stone and polish it smooth and brilliant.  We want to be brilliant, yet we desperately desire to avoid the painful and uncomfortable process of getting there. I have found that accepting pain, hurt, and difficulties as learning experiences has given those struggles a purpose and an end result.  This enables me to learn, accept and move through them.  Fighting against the polishing only makes it take longer.  Accepting it as the will of God, allows Him to help me get through it." - May 5, 2014

November 25, 2012

After we finished medical school, I found myself living the life we had always dreamed of.  We had four healthy children, a beautiful new house, brand new furniture, new cars, and my husband had his dream job.  

Everything had worked out just like we had planned.

I should have been happy and fulfilled... 

but I was not.

I felt a heavy weight on my heart.

I felt the doom of an impending trial.  

I became consumed with the fear that my fairytale world would crumble apart.  I desperately did not want to give up all that I had worked for and sacrificed for so long to acquire.

I remember a time when  I was visiting a good friend and in desperation I finally asked her, 

"Do you think it is possible to be righteousness enough to avoid trials?"

I remember her response, and it helped me to understand the purpose and importance of 
trials in our lives... How they teach us, 

shape us, 

refine us and,

help us to be the kind of people our Heavenly Father wants us to become.  

I wanted so desperately to avoid the big trial that I felt was coming my way.

That conversation helped me to understand that I needed to go through it.

Remembering that has helped me these past two weeks. 

I am grateful for that conversation that occurred almost 10 years ago.  My friend did not know the impact that she would later make on my life.  I have been touched by how many people have come forward with things that Scott did for them or said that really made an impact on them. I know he often felt discouraged because he thought he wasn't making a difference. These experiences have taught me that we never know the impact we can make, so we need to do all we can to reach out to other people and follow the spirit when it prompts us to act or say something. This has taught me to stop being afraid and to just reach out.