Saturday, November 10, 2012

Before the Accident

I think God has a way of preparing us for really hard trials... 

I know that He has promised that He will not give us more than we can handle, and sometimes, I think He helps us handle things through spiritual promptings.  

If we are listening, 
those promptings can become
 tender mercies later on down the road.

Scott and his dad had been at a Mercedes driving class in California since Wednesday.  The class finished Saturday night. They were to fly to Omaha, spend the night, and then Scott was going to fly home Sunday morning.  That Saturday night was a warm November evening, and so I asked my kids what they wanted to do.  Unanimously, they announced that they wanted to walk the Galloway trail together and get ice cream.  This was something I had done with my four children frequently for the past several summers.  

As we walked I watched my children as if from a distant place...

I remember feeling so peaceful and happy.  They were skipping and goofing off, and I thought how lucky I was to have 3 teenage boys and a preteen daughter who were content and happy to spend their Saturday night with their mother and siblings.  The thought came clearly in my mind, 

“If something happened to Scott, you would be okay.
   You could be happy.  This would be enough.”  

I brushed it aside, thinking nothing of it...  

When we got back to the car, my husband had texted... 

“luv u, taxing.” 

It was only a short while later that the plane crashed.., 

but I didn’t find out about it until the next morning.  

When my mother-in-law called to tell me they had not landed in Omaha, 
immediately I remembered the prompting that had come
 into my mind the night before.  

I knew that the Lord prepared me for that moment.  

I knew they were both gone.

For a brief instant, I was faced with a choice...  

There was a dark easy way. I could see myself crumbling and falling apart. I saw family stepping in to take care of my responsibilities, I knew I could just quit and shut down. But then I could see the destruction that would happen to my children, and I knew that there would be no escape from that path. 

Then I turned my thoughts to the light, and just that quickly the choice was made. 

I began thinking of how I would tell my children, how I would gather them around me and tell them that their dad, their hero, would not be coming home.  I knew what I needed to do, and so...

when we found the article on the internet that confirmed my fears, we immediately knelt together in each others arms and prayed.  

I didn’t pray...
for them to be safe, for it to be a mistake, for some kind of miracle to save them.  

I prayed...
that we could have peace, understanding, and acceptance. 

I prayed... 
that we would have direction andthat Scott will still be allowed to influence us andthat we would be able to feel his presence. 

I prayed...
for the ability to cope and get through this difficult trial until we could be reunited as a family again.  

It was a day filled with shock and disbelief, but it was also a day filled with peace

Peace that was possible because 
I had been prepared to turn immediately to the Lord.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.


  1. I had a similar experience, two sundays in a row just before my husband died in a car accident, I had the clear impression, my husband was going to leave me (not divorce). I did not understand and thought I was thinking crazy. The night before my husband died, a councilor from a singles ward asked my advice on improving attendance at singles wards. As I looked back I could see even more ways I was being prepared to be a widow.

  2. Looking back, there were many times the thought that my husband was going to die before me crossed my mind. I didn't think it would be this soon in my life, but I kind of always knew. I also had a prompting seconds before my doorbell rang, and the two chief pilots (my husband was a pilot) came to tell me. I think they were amazed that I didn't fall apart, but the thought came into my mind, that "you knew this would happen. This is how it's supposed to be." Thankful for seeing the Lord's hand in our lives. And thank you for sharing your blog.