The Gift of Time

The Gift of Time...

While Waiting on the Lord. 

This is a thought that has reoccured in my mind...

"You've been given the gift of time. Do not wasted it. Time cannot be recovered. While you are waiting on the Lord you have time. What will you do with that time. Will you sit around bemoaning your situation, watching the clock, wondering when it will be over, and when you can finally moved to this happy new future? If that is the case, when and if you're hoped-for future comes, you will not find it as happy as you want it to be."

I have come to the conclusion that in this life there is no such thing as arriving at a future bliss. Every new phase has its own unique set of problems. 

If I cannot find joy in the journey,

 then I will not find joy in the destination. 

I have discovered three ways that help me make the journey more joyful. 

1. Use this time as a preparation. 
2. Find things to be grateful for now.
3. Do good and serve others. 

In the context of my personal experiences and some things I have observed, I wanted to share my thoughts about using this time as a preparation

Sometimes I am so impatient to get to the next phase of life...

I know that many widows, people suffering from divorce, or singles feel, "if I could only find a lasting relationship, then I would be happy again."

 I have found myself thinking those thoughts. 

When my world was shattered and everything I had hoped and planned for in my future was taken from me, I desperately wanted to reclaim it.  There was no way to reclaim what I had, so I thought I could recreate it.  Once I thought I was ready to move forward, not finding that immediately was a discouraging thing. 

• I was left wondering if God really loved me. 
• I questioned and wondered if there was something wrong with me. 
• I felt immense loneliness. 
• All of these things compounded the sadness and loss I alread felt. 

This was especially difficult when people around me seemed to be happy in their relationships. I looked at them and thought the grass was definitely greener on their side. 

Fortunately I am learning some very important things from other widowed remarried friends. 

• Second marriage is not easy! 
• It is not an escape or a way out. 
• It brings with it new challenges and learning experiences. 

If you find yourself in this same boat.... 

feeling like you're ready, but it's not happening yet.

Instead of being frustrated and upset about God's timing, 

 ask yourself these questions instead...

What does God want me to do while I'm single?

What things can I learn that will prepare me

 to be a better spouse and parent?

As I seek answers for those questions, God is helping me to see that this time of preparation will help the next phase of life to run more smoothly. The experiences I am having are teaching me important lessons. 

Here are some of the things I am learning...

1. I have to learn to be happy being alone. I need to find fulfillment in doing good things for others and derive my self-worth from how God feels about me and I feel about myself not from how others view me.
2. I need to learn how to unconditionally love. Loving unconditionally will help me be more understanding of a new spouse and a blended family. Practicing that now with my own kids and in my relationships will make a new marriage run smoother.
3. I cannot expect to have a trouble-free life. I have to except that I will have to deal with new challenges in a marriage and with additional children.  With proper's perspective, I need to view those challenges as learning opportunities that are necessary for my growth. This means that I may need to accept situations that are not ideal. 
4. I need to have the spirit with me so that I can have confirmation that all of my decisions are correct. That will give me strength when things are hard. It will help me to stay in the fight.
5. I need to prepare my children for the future. This time gives me the opportunity to talk with them about things, to ask them to pray about things and to get all of us on the same team. 

Asking questions and being open to the answers helps me to find purpose in my struggles.  It helps me to move forward with greater understanding and faith.