June 16, 2013
I wanted to write a letter to my sweetie today to thank him for being
such a wonderful husband and father to my children.
As I have reflected on this trial, I have realized that despite loosing a Father so young in life, my children know they were loved. They know they were your number one priority and they were the people you wanted most to be around. They had a wonderful example, a standard that they will hold high and seek to achieve themselves. I appreciate you reading to the boys at night. I know you were often tired, but you sacrificed so they would have that memory with you and so that I could have a break. Our children love to read because of you, and they will pass that on to their own children. You taught them to work hard and then play hard, an important combination that I often lacked. You taught me the same and hopefully I can carry on and spend the time playing with them that will keep our family close. You always put family first and taught our kids that being together was the most fun out there. You taught our boys how to treat women and our daughter how to expect to be treated both in the things you told them and through your actions. As far as husbands go, you were amazing. I think it is very rare that a wife feels as unconditionally loved and adored as I have felt for the past 20 years. You were always on my team, you always came to bat for me, you were willing to move heaven and earth to make me smile. You provided for us physically, emotionally and spiritually. You stepped up and taught our children the gospel, shared your testimony with them regularly, and were the spiritual example they needed to understand how to live the gospel and make it part of their lives. You honored your priesthood and served our family through it. Honey, I love you more than life itself. I miss you so much and wish desperately we could be together now. I wish you could come and solve all of my problems and make it all better. I am terrified to face the rest of this life on my own and to finish our work in raising the children all by myself. I miss your encouraging words and the confidence you displayed in me. I am grateful for our temple sealing and that you were true and faithful to those covenants. I am grateful that those sealing powers give me opportunities to still feel a spiritual connection with you and that they still allow you to be involved in the rearing of our children. I did sealings with Alex this week and as I knelt across the alter with him I remember just two weeks before your accident when we knelt there and I looked into your eyes and just saw absolute adoration and devotion. I remember the spiritual impressions we shared and our anticipation at going to the temple with Alex soon. What a tender mercy that experience was! A glimpse into the spirit world that would become much more significant to us in the coming weeks. Alex is ready. This experience has stretch him and prepared him to be a better missionary and a better father. Cooper has stepped up as well- especially in dealing with Eric. I think he is beginning to recognize the spirit's influence in helping him with Eric. Eric needs to feel your love now more than ever. I feel him struggling. Please do what you can to help him. I know you will. I love you. Until we meet again....