Progress through Change
When you are a widow, everything in your life changes. Nothing is the same anymore and nothing that you had planned for your future will ever be the same. Sometimes we change out of choice and sometimes we are compelled to change. When compelling changes come, you have a chance to look inward and examine who you are and who you want to become. It felt like 2/3 of me ceased to exist when Scott died- the 1/3 that was him and the 1/3 that was us. I was left with the 1/3 that was just me, and trying to remember who she was alone was very difficult. There were things about me that I wanted to change. I had wanted to change those things before Scott died, but I felt stuck and kind of in a rut. Well, having your husband dies definitely gets you unstuck from your rut, but if you are not careful it is easy to get stuck in a new rut. I didn't want to do that. I was tired of begin stuck. I wanted to start moving forward so I could stay caught up to Scott who I felt was now moving forward at an accelerated pace. I desired to be more than who I was and to be more of who the Savior thought I was capable of being.
We are not beings who delight in change, especially hard, difficult change. sometimes like a root bound plant, a new pot is not enough change to allow us to flourish
and begin to grow. We need some vigorous root clipping. Root clipping hurts, but it makes the corrections and
removes the bad habits that hinder our growth.
"How
often in life do we set our own roots into the soil of life and become root
bound? We may treat ourselves too gently and defy anyone to
disturb the soil or trim back our root system. Under these conditions we too must struggle to make
progress. Oh, change is hard! Change can be rough." (See below for reference)
Our own stubbornness can make that change
harder and take longer. How much easier the path is when we willing
submit to the process of changing.
We
are so reluctant to change. We set our heels in and stubbornly hang on to
those bits of our will that keep us from progressing
" There is a constant that allows us to use change for our
own good, and that constant is the revealed eternal truths of our Heavenly
Father."
The
gospel helps us to know the direction we need to go when we change. It
helps us change for the better
"We
need not feel that we must forever be what we presently are. There is a tendency to think of change as the enemy. Many of us are
suspect of change and will often fight and resist it before we have even
discovered what the actual effects will be. When change is thought through carefully, it can produce
the most rewarding and profound experiences in life. The changes we make must
fit the Lord’s purposes and patterns."
I have found this to be particularly true. I have often feared change and the unknown. I like to know what is ahead and have a good plan for getting through it. Although I did not plan on this change in my life, as I have turned to God for help and direction, I have had some of those rewarding and profound experiences. I am leading a life more focused on the Savior and on becoming like Him. It is full of service and learning how to love and lift others. This has been far more rewarding than I ever thought possible.
I AM LEARNING TO NOT BE AFRAID OF CHANGE
Asking the following questions in circumstances like this can allow us to change in the right way.
“Where do I need development? What do I want out of life? Where do I want to
go? How can I get there?” Weighing alternatives very carefully is a
much needed prerequisite as one plans changes. In God’s plan we are usually
free to choose the changes we make in our lives and we are always free to choose how we will respond
to the changes that come. We need not surrender our freedoms. But just as a
compass is valuable to guide us out of the dense forest, so the gospel points
the way as we walk the paths of life."
It is important to remember that we choose how to react in any given situation. We need to Act instead of allowing ourselves to be acted upon. It's important not to fall into the
pattern of inaction. Satan is always trying to cripple us by telling us that we don't have to do anything or that we are not capable of doing anything. No matter our circumstances, we always have a choice. Even if that choice is simple to choose our attitude.
C. S. Lewis indicated there
is often pain in change when he wrote of God’s expectations for His children:
“Imagine yourself as a living house.
